Okay, so it’s week 14 of my “fields of love” project, and things are… well, they’re happening. I started this whole thing with a vague idea of, like, cultivating more love in my life, you know? Not just romantic love, but all kinds. Love for my friends, my family, myself, even my freaking houseplants.
I started out strong, I’m not gonna lie. Week one, I was all about affirmations. “I am loved! I am loving!” I even wrote it on my bathroom mirror in lipstick (which, by the way, is a pain to clean off. Don’t recommend it.)
Weeks 1-3: The Honeymoon Phase
- Loads of calls: Called my grandma, like, three times. She was thrilled, maybe a little suspicious.
- Friend dates: Made actual plans with friends I hadn’t seen in ages. We even went to that pottery place I always wanted to try.
- Self-care overload: Face masks, bubble baths, the whole nine yards. I even bought a ridiculously expensive candle that smelled like “serenity” or something.
Then, somewhere around week 5, things got… complicated. Life happened, basically. Work got crazy busy, I had a fight with my best friend, and my favorite houseplant decided to stage a dramatic death scene.
Weeks 5-10: The “Is This Even Working?” Phase
- Guilt trips: Started feeling guilty for NOT being loving enough. Like, I’d snap at my roommate for leaving dishes in the sink and then feel like a total monster.
- Forgetting: The whole “fields of love” project kind of faded into the background.
- Zero energy: My self-care routine went out the window.
But! This week, week 14, I’m trying to get back on track. I realized that this whole “love” thing isn’t a straight line. It’s messy, it’s up and down, and sometimes you just need a break.
Week 14: The Reboot
- Small steps: Sent a “thinking of you” text to a friend.
- Forgiving myself: No more beating myself up for not being a perfectly loving human 24/7.
- Water my plants! I repotted the one that looked like it was on its last legs. Fingers crossed.
So, that’s where I’m at. It’s not perfect, but it’s progress. Maybe next week I’ll try that lipstick-on-the-mirror thing again… with a dry-erase marker this time.
